Reflections on maternity leave

My leave comes to a shuddering close this Monday - I head back to work on September 1. Of course, this change brings about mixed feelings. I feel like I've just gotten to know Declan - he's sweet, enjoys a cuddle and is just learning about his body - what his hands can do, what it feels like to put a toy in his mouth and how to keep his head up while on his tummy. Little things, but little things that are defining my son.

And he'll probably be my only son. Pretty sure our shop is closed and that's bittersweet....sweet because we can see our future stretching out before us and we're able to plan...bitter because there will be no other time in my mid-life when I'll have 4 months off to enjoy my family. To exclusively focus on my lovely children who teach me something every day.

In a lot of ways, I was able to bond more with Annika during these 4 months than Declan. She reacts strongly to my being at work, and we've become very close. She's not a cuddler like her brother, but she knows I am, so she lets me hold her whenever I want - something she doesn't do when I'm away for a while. During the days I've had with both kids, I saw all of Annika's personality - the good, the bad and the ugly...but mostly the good. I saw her kindness and appreciation of Declan, what makes her laugh, and her never-ending quest to get *me* to laugh...she's a comedienne for sure. Her artistic sensibilities have become more sophisticated over the summer - she draws in the lines! She uses realistic colors and she has a real pride in her work. She's working on her lack of patience and is starting to understand how much she wants to contribute to our household - she wants to do "chores" and help with Baby Bro whenever we need her.

Leaving Declan will be hard, too. He's just starting to have those bright eyes of understanding...he smiles when smiled at and is hungry for attention and information. He's finally learning how to fall asleep on his own, though I don't think his night wakings will be gone by next week...but that's ok - more time with my little guy. It breaks my heart that I might miss those upcoming milestones...but I know he'll eventually appreciate having a Mommy who is challenged at home and outside of it.

Four months is not enough, so maybe if we're ever granted a "surprise" we can move to Europe where leave is a lot longer. But I'll never forget this summer and can't wait for what the future brings.

Annika's first soda

We're pretty strict about Annika's fluid intake - she can pretty much eat anything she can get her grubby hands on, but I'm weird about drinks. No juice, unless it's a special occasion and definitely no soda. She gets chocolate milk about once every 6 months. It's milk and water for her, and she's actually ok with that.

Two of her favorite shows, Catscratch and SpongeBob romanticize root beer. Main characters in each show crave root beer and go to great lengths to secure it. She talks about it a lot - what is root beer? what does it taste like? why is it special? I told her that root beer is soda, and she's not allowed to have soda - so that's why it's special. She really never presses the issue.

We went shopping yesterday and wandered into the soda section. I thought to myself - be a hero! - so I plucked a 2 liter of Safeway's best (we can work our way up to the name brands) and announced she could try it. She was super excited and a little nervous (maybe I made her afraid of soda?).

The Negretes came for a visit that evening and after dinner I asked her if she was ready for her glass of root beer. Oh, she was! Check out the twinkle in her eye before the big moment:



Then the big moment:



And, finally, the sickening realization that this stuff did not taste right (check out Nico's terrified expression in the background):



She continued to make horrified faces for 2-3 more minutes and wouldn't be talked into trying another drop. Ha! Great news! My kid hates soda...I wonder how I can apply this to her candy habits?

So I asked her today why she didn't like root beer, and this is what she told me, "It was too sour and too bubbly. Actually, I think the bubbles caused the sour trouble."

Born to ride

Chatty

Declan loves to talk, and he's especially aggressive when he's trying to say something. It's like the little wheels are turning and he wants to converse, but he knows what will come out won't quite capture his opinion.

He coos a lot for Chris but usually freezes up for the camera. This is one of his better showings.

Tuckered out.

Annika slept through the night starting at 3 months. We knew at the time we were lucky, but now that I have a kid who isn't as...accommodating...now I really know how lucky we were.

I think what worries me the most is when I go back to work (countdown: just over two weeks to go) and I walk around like a zombie. I am fully aware I'm not the only person in all the land to go to work sleepless, but doesn't mean I'll like it!

In other, more happy news, Declan laughs! Chris has a pretty surefire way to make that happen - it involves a lot of belly tickles. He also is close to rolling over and I'm pretty sure he's starting to teethe. He drools incessantly, bites on most anything he can get his hands on (not me - knock on wood), and often throws his hands into his mouth. Could be part of the sleeping problem? Maybe? I don't know...too tired to care.

Annika got moved up in her preschool to "Red Group 1" which basically means Pre-K. A little more focus on letters, numbers, learning, etc. as opposed to socialization. I was worried she would have difficulty transitioning, but she told me this morning that she likes her new classroom and was worried at first, but isn't any more.

OK- how about now?

Though, maybe the better question is why do I still have this same towel after 4 years?

Stretchy baby

Today

Had a good day today - both kids slept in (sorta...Annika got up a little before 9 while Declan got up at 4 and 7, but then slept till 10:15.). So I snuck in some good rest...sorta.

Rounded up the troops for a Starbucks run around noon. I prefer to get it earlier, but with the late start and treating myself to a shower mixed in with some feeding, that was pretty much our first shot.

After a quick drive-thru experience, I decided to keep driving because I wasn't ready to face the rest of the day in my messy home. Annika and I pretended we were underwater - she was an eel, Declan was a jellyfish and I was a whale...not my choice.

We passed by the bookstore and I suggested we check it out - Annika was game, and I've been steadily trying to improve Declan'a book collection. We had a blast there, picked up two new books for Miss Annika and one for Dex.

When we got home, we "played" with Declan which translates to laying on a blanket and waving toys in his face. Annika is pretty good at keeping him entertained and we had a great time - no one more than D who loooves attention of all kinds.

Scooby Doo movie for Annika, feeding for D , and a quick game of backyard I Spy rounded out the afternoon.

Whew! I am beat, but not too shabby. Though, my house is still a mess.

2...the new 1?

Before we even considered having a second baby, Chris and I heard horror stories of additional children....we were told that having 2 wasn't twice the work...it was exponentially more work! A number high enough couldn't be assigned! Ahhh!!!

I'm sure I'll eat my words, but after 12 weeks, I have to say that 2 might be...wait for it....easier than 1. WHAT IS THIS?

Now, before we get crazy, let's remember that I'm still playing stay-at-home-mom/housewife right now, so maybe when I'm back at work, I'll be singing a different tune. We also have to take into account that Annika is in preschool 3 mornings a week and with her sainted grandparents a great majority of the rest of the week....effectively limiting my 'on the clock' time with both kids. And on the weekends I have a wonderful husband who happily shares the workload with me...it's a pretty sweet deal.

That said, when I do have both of them, it's...dare I say? Fun. Annika is usually a sweet dear (with notable exceptions) and makes it easy for me to feed Declan throughout the day or is patient when we have to delay her lunch by 20 minutes after I settle Declan down for a nap. She completely understands that he's a baby that needs much of my attention, and she is usually satisfied with the 1:1 time I can give her when he's occupied. We usually spend the day completing a couple of art projects, going to the park, or having a picnic outside. It's such a pleasure getting to know her during those moments that it makes the day go by quickly.

The flip side of that is by the time Chris gets home, I'm wiped out. With two kids, there is no downtime...but is that exponentially harder? KNOCK ON WOOD...not for us, so far. Declan appears to be gearing up for a teething tragedy while Annika is having a week of whininess unparalleled.

What makes it "easier" is that with #2, I sorta know what I'm doing. I don't worry about how much he's eating (apparently a lot), when he's eating, how much he's crying, what's he's crying about, when he's sleeping...you get the picture. Declan is not an easy baby, but he's not the roughest either, and I think having the experience with Annika oh-so-many years ago makes it so much more....possible. I don't fear so many things as I did with her...I just do it. I would imagine this has a lot to do with the assumption that first borns are high strung and babies of the family are waaayyy relaxed. It's all making sense...

Nothing is perfect, but I thought it was worth noting that we have it pretty good. I do recommend having the second kid! Sleep is not bountiful, your life is utterly centered around your kids but what you get from it - another little life to love, and a closer family than ever - makes it a pretty awesome thing.

Oh - are we going for #3? Hell no!

My poor son's wife

You need sound for this video.

Making good on a promise

I promised some video footage of Annika's pool party. Here's a clip of her swimming "on her own." She needs some materials to make this happen, but it's actually a handy little system to keep her afloat.

Entertainment?

Maybe I've blocked this part out, but when Annika was Declan's age, I don't recall her being so hungry for attention and entertainment. Don't get me wrong - I realize that 11-week-olds enjoy the attention and want to be cooed at, fed and cuddled, but Declan is *starving* for it. He just needs someone to be in his face at all times and if you're not in his face, you better be holding him - or else! I type this as he screams in his crib...he's completely tired and ready for a nap, but refuses to fall asleep.

Any ideas? We have the playmat, which is useful for about 10 minutes. He does like it, but the magic wears off. He started to enjoy Annika's old bouncy chair, but now he gets furious off when he sees the toys that dangle from the overhead bar. Annika used to squawk at the bird, but Declan screams at it like it's going to come alive and peck his eyes out.

He has a new toy named Sandy the Seahorse that captures his attention for about 2.48 minutes. He picked it out at Babies R Us (after I showed him a few toys while we shopped - and that one elicited a smile) but since he's not ready to fully grab and grasp things yet, it's usefulness is short lived as well.

Maybe he's going through a phase. Maybe it's second child syndrome - since his attention from birth has been split with his sister. Maybe he's just a needy little boy. I'm ok with that, but it sure does make the day go by slllooowwwlllyyyyy....

If you have any ideas for entertainment, drop me a comment. I'm open to all & any suggestions!

I think my kids look alike

Who's with me???

Annika at 10 weeks:



Declan at 10 weeks:

For Chris

Chris said he doesn't like the picture of his son, topless in a denim hat. So I'm posting this so we can move on with our lives.

Weight check

When Chris and I take Declan out, we get one of two comments: "He sure looks like a boy" or "Wow - he's big!" I guess it's a good thing that he looks like a boy, but the big comment is mixed. I mean - he's two months old - do I need to worry about weight problems already??? Probably not. We went to the doctor's yesterday for his 2-month check-up and one thing we know about our doctor is that he'll say something's wrong if something is. He said that he's big for his age, but also tall, so he didn't have any issues. It is a little disturbing though when you see a walking 1-year old at the Injection Clinic and she's the same size as your 10-week old son...

But whatever! He's damn cute!

Here are his stats:

Height: 24.13 inches (81st percentile)
Weight: 15 pounds, .5 ounces (96th percentile)
Head circumference: 16.14 inches (66th percentile)

Annika's head circumference was never smaller than 95th percentile. Chris made the comment - no wonder it seems easier to put on Declan's shirts...

More fun updates on Declan - he is smiling more and staying awake longer. He is much more interested in his surroundings and he's always looking for entertainment. If you're unable to meet his expectations of entertainment, he'll cry...loudly.

Today he purposely knocked his hanging car seat toy. He was so proud! He smiled and even laughed a bit. I saw him continuing to try and hit it and he was so excited when he connected.

Oh and yesterday when he got his first series of shots, I marveled at how differently my children reacted. Annika was always a trouper about it - she would feel the needle go in and go still...then she'd look at you and then SOB. But she was overit pretty quick. Declan cried the second the needle grazed his skin and so deeply that he stopped breathing. His face was so red and the screaming so loud. I'm sure we scared a couple of kids in the waiting room...sorry!!

We had a bit of a scare yesterday - Declan vomited up blood. Luckily we already had the doctor appointment scheduled, so I tried not to panic too much. It only happened once, too, which was good. The Doc said that his esophagus could be irritated by all the times he spits up (usually 2-3 times after every feeding) so he prescribed an antacid. No blood any more, but not sure if the antacid is helping. But it's been 12 hours. So maybe I'll give it a little more time...

Lucky

"Momma...I feel lucky."

"You do, sweetie? Why is that?"

"I feel lucky to have parents like you."

Back at ya, kid.

Looks cute now

But puked all morning and can't stay asleep. Annika just woke him up after he finally went down. Yay.......

But this (sorta) makes it worth it.

Some more birthday stuff

Since Annika's birthday was on a Wednesday, we kept the actual day of her birthday pretty low key. She still went to school where she brought cupcakes. She went to her cousin's house after school then Chris and I picked them both up for a trip to Chuck E Cheese. We all came back after a couple of hours to have cake and ice cream. Wednesday kicked off the weekend of birthdays, and it'll probably take her another day or so to fully recover. She's napping on the couch as I type this, and is incredibly cranky. Tough life!

Party weekend

Not only was Annika's pool 4th birthday party this weekend, but so were two other important birthday parties - Nico's and cousins Pierce and Audrey. This is what she looked like after her 6-hour party yesterday:

Backing up a bit, this is what she looked like in the middle of the party after a 2-hour swim and after she swallowed some water:

Then it got a little better when the pinata made its appearance:

Oh, and she enjoyed her birthday cake and the party theme - Scooby Doo. Have I mentioned how much she loves Scooby Doo? It's unnatural. So unnatural in fact that she's watching the live action movie right now...who would do that willingly? Only a true fan!

I'll post some video from the part(ies) later this week. I have some great pool action shots, though I missed Chris's cannonball.

Baby turns 4

My little girl is 4. Four years old! Four going on 18....

Annika is a really special person. She is caring. She is smart. She is selfless, and she is picky. She's so unique that Chris and I often marvel that we created her...we created this awesome person.

Annika asks a lot of questions. She understands a lot. We had a conversation last week about creationism vs. evolution. She so far is pretty sure that God created the Earth and people, but respects Darwin's position.

This year will be remembered for Declan's birth. But I hope we also remember that this is the year that Annika entered Pre-K, tried to learn to swim, asked for "Jack In The Box" for the first time (embarrassing...but true) and told me that she would "never break up" with me and that we'll be "best friends forever."

Annika - I love you so much, it swallows me up! You'll always be my baby and my best friend. Happy Birthday to you.

Woo hoo!

He slept 7 hours last night! Not that I expect that to last....but I'll take it.

Annika loves to cuddle with her baby bro in the morning.

I've never seen this before

When we first started giving Declan baths, he really didn't like them. Can't say I blame them - we did them in our kitchen on the island and he wasn't allowed to be submerged because of his umbilical cord - so he was freezing. This is a kid that loooves to be warm, so he would complain. Loudly.

A few weeks ago I discovered that he could take a bath while I took a shower. I discovered this out of necessity since he would be screaming his head off every time I'd turn off the water and start to dry off. Most showers end with me soaking wet, racing across the room to get to him and staying wet and undressed until he fell asleep again.

So the shower thing really worked. He loves the sound of the water and he likes being warm and submerged (his umbilical cord fell out when he was nearly 4 weeks old). The last two times he took his bath, his eyes would start blinking heavily and he almost fell asleep. I thought it was the cutest thing - until this:

This is not a picture of him blinking - he's fast asleep. He slept for a good five minutes while I finished up my shower and Chris took pictures. He didn't wake up until Chris put him down on the changing table to get him dressed.

I wish I could say he could sleep anywhere...and often...but that would be a lie.

P.S. I blurred out some of the more controversial content of the picture....that's not really what it looks like.

Harder than it looks

...to get a picture of him when he's not blurry. He never stops moving!





Also, is it just me or does he look older than his 7 weeks of life?

He smiles!

He smiles...even on his sister's lap! This is big news...whether or not it seem so to you.

He is actually picky about when he smiles - you really have to earn it. He smiles most often for Daddy who works for it. Though last night I walked up to him just to say hi and he gave me the biggest little grin. Made my night.

Annika and Declan and I have been hanging out today. A day with both the kids is exhausting, but goes fast - definitely no down time. However, I do have to say that Annika has been a model daughter and model big sister. In fact, today she really came through by entertaining Declan while I was getting ready for us to go out and run an errand. He thoroughly enjoyed it and she was gentle enough with him not to freak him out. Success!

Happy birthday, Chris!

Chris is 29 + 4. Just to be clear, I am 29 + 3. I love June 12!

But seriously - happy birthday to the best husband and daddy ever. Love, love, love you!

How it is...

Right after he's been fed. More than happy to have anyone hold him ... Including his intense sister.

Annika, however, is ecstatic to hold him whenever he'll let her. She is a sweetheart.

But what about Annika's adventures??

This blog has been Declan-heavy lately, so let me catch you up on Annika's life.

She's a big sister and she takes the responsibility very seriously. She insists that he likes to be tickled on his feet (though I agree he is ticklish, not sure he likes it), wants to be patted on the back...vigorously (true, actually) and is awfully annoying when he cries and cannot be consoled (also true). She told us last night that "Baby bro keeps waking me up!" but I actually think she wasn't ready to go to bed.

Bed time is a little different for her. She had a monitor in her room until just last week, when we finally weaned her. Having two kids on a monitor wasn't something I was personally into, and she's old enough to get out of bed if the situation warrants. The issue is that she thinks all situations warrant it.

"Mommy, Declan is keeping me awake."

"Daddy, I want new stuffed animals."

"I have to go pee." (a legitimate reason to get up, but often times it's just a few trickles...another stall tactic).

"Mommy, I have just one thing to say to you....are there mummies?"

She has friends at school - two girls for the most part, but one that she is particularly enamoured with. She told me "I hug her soooo tight, and she asks me to stop, but I can't help it!!!" My baby has a friend crush! Literally. We had a talk about personal boundaries, but not sure it took.

Speaking of boundaries, according to her, Declan doesn't have any. Whether he's feeding, sleeping, crying, pooping, taking a bath...all of his activities are fair game for her to jump in and rub his head (vigorously) or hug him sooooo tight or tickles his feet, etc...you get the idea. She's madly in love with him and her preschooler ways don't really understand quite yet how to tone it down. But I am so grateful for how much she loves him. She is not jealous at all. She just wants him to be her toy.

We are trying to teach her to swim this year, but she really just wants to hang out in the pool. She's not a fan of ....learning. We'll keep trying, but thinking she might have to get group lessons so she'll succumb to peer pressure. Ahh, the American way.

She is very much into art. Loves to paint, play with Play-Doh and draw most anything. She's also into 3-D art where she'll glue an item to a paper and then draw around it. Her Nana says she has a great sense of color, and I have to agree. I need to get her a portfolio to keep these pictures...they're all over my house and I have no idea what to do with them.

Her 4th birthday is coming up quick and she talks about her birthday party a lot. She also knows what she wants to be for Halloween this year - a cat.

Declan: one month

Declan will be one month on Monday, and to celebrate we went to the doctor's office today for his first well baby appointment. There were streamers and everything! (not really)

You can check all the percentiles here, but the 411 is that he's generally smaller than Annika....especially in head size. She was always in the 90th percentile for head circumference, but he's between 50-60%. Chris says he has a pinhead. I say he can wear hats made for his age!

Other stuff he can do right now: hold up his head, kinda smile (mostly when gassy, but sometimes when Chris kisses his chin), cry, eat, not sleep that much. (I am tired).

The stats:

Length: 21.75 inches

Weight: 11 pounds

Head circumference: 15 inches

Restful slumber?

Not sure why this is so comfortable, but he slept like this for over an hour.

Before I forget

I'm going to be a little indulgent and tell the story of my labor (of love) for Declan. I usually love to hear friends' tales of birthing their children because through the inevitable similarities each experience is unique and so special. Of course, I know a few people who birth their babies just a little too easily...you know who you are! I'm not jealous. (Yes I am).

On May 4 at 6 am (just around the time Chris's alarm went off for work) I started to feel what I thought might be

contractions. "You thought they were contractions?" you may be asking...."haven't you had a kid already?" Yes, I have. But I swear those early ones aren't so obvious.

Chris got ready for work and I contemplated telling him what I thought was happening. I knew he still had a few things to wrap up at work and I also knew that even if this were the "real deal" it would be a while....so I let him go to work.

I laid in bed for a while, then started to time the pangs. I eventually upgraded them to contractions since they were coming at fairly regular intervals (5-7 minutes apart) and lasting about 45 seconds. At that point, I knew I needed to take a shower and tie up my own loose ends (clean the kitchen, pack Annika's bag and make sure I had everything in my bag).

While I was in the shower, my in-laws called to offer to pick up Annika that morning...she was scheduled to go to their house for the day, and I had already decided I could probably drive (it was fiiine!) but they have a sixth sense, so I gratefully agreed and they said they'd be o

ver in 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, Annika finally woke up and hung out in my room while I got ready. A few minutes before her grandparents arrived, I finally told her: "Sweetie, I have something to tell you....the baby will probably be born today!" She sort of looked up at me, then looked back at the TV. Maybe I wasn't clear?

I finally decided it was time to call Chris. The last two weeks, every time I had called him at work he answered in a slightly panicked voice. So I told him I would text him first with a heads up, then make the call...I did just that. When he answered, I could hear the smile in his voice and he promised to come as soon as possible.

Chris' parents picked up Annika and Chris arrived shortly afterwards. The contractions were getting a little stronger, but sticking around 5-7 minutes apart and lasting between 30-45 seconds. They tell you to call the hospital when you're 5 minutes apart and they last about a minute for at least an hour. Plus, being the second kid, I wasn't in such a rush to get to the hospital. Uncomfortable beds, monitors, poking, prodding... that could wait.

I wanted to be sure that I was in active labor, so Chris and I took a walk in the park. As we neared the end of the walk, it was harder to talk and walk...so I was sure we were getting close. When we got back to the house, the pain increased and I finally said to Chris "it's time to call the hospital." It was about 1 pm.

The hospital agreed to have me come (thanks!) and we packed our bags and left. We got there, were admitted (mid-contractions....a very comfortable experience) and were put into the "observation room" which means "you don't get a room until we're completely sure you're in labor and deserve a real room." The doctor checked me within 20 minutes, and announced I was at 4.5 centimeters. Woo hoo!

When my room was finally ready we got ourselves comfortable. This hospital was built in 2006 so everything was pretty nice. Though I didn't understand the wallpaper. I told everyone that would listen that I would be partaking in an epidural. They all agreed that was fine, but anesthesiologists are busy guys. They offered me a narcotic to "take the edge off" and the nurse who offered it to me said it was like having a pitcher of margaritas. That was definitely a strong selling point, but I also knew that narcotics affect the baby while epidurals do not...so I declined. That was the hardest thing I had to do the whole delivery (just kidding).

Epidural came....for those of you who may remember (and you probably don't, because why would you?) when I had an epidural during Annika's delivery, it didn't work on one side of my body, and I felt the full force of those contractions on one side of my body for much of the labor. I told the anesthesiologist about this, in case they could avoid that this time, and though he sympathized. he didn't think it would happen again. He also said that this time they have a wonderful little button that allows the epidural to get stronger each time you pressed it. AWESOME. I pressed that thing about 30 times.

Unfortunately, the one side pain thing happened again...but this time the nurse suggested that I lay on the "bad" side because gravity often helps with this situation. It did help and for a while, I was quite comfortable. Especially after hitting the button a few times for good measure.

They came to check me again around 6 - about 5 hours since I made it to the labor room. As the doctor put it, "Hopefully this pain has been for something!" Of course we should have known that would curse us. I was still at 4.5.

The doctor then offered me pitocin to "help" me to progress. Again, my ridiculous knowledge of the labor & delivery process (thanks BabyCenter and TLC!) reminded me that pitocin may speed up labor, but also makes the contractions stronger - and more painful. The only reason I would need the labor to speed up would be to avoid a Cinco de Mayo birthday for the little boy...too many visions of college "birthday" parties danced in my head...so though I wanted to avoid that, I didn't want a drug to attain that goal. I declined the pitocin and though the doc clearly disagreed with my decision, she was ok with it, and said they would check me in about an hour to see if I had made any headway...and if not, I may get the drugs anyway.

I was disappointed that things weren't moving so quickly, esp since I was in a decent amount of pain, but doing well enough. However, just like with Annika's delivery, the little guy started to have heart decelerations with each contraction...which can be a sign of stress. The bad news: if that continued, I may need a C-section; the good news: luckily I had declined the pitocin which might have bothered him more since they increase the strength of the contractions...so Jenn: 1; Doctor: 0.

The other thing that was not at all awesome was that the pain on my left side was getting worse, and they wouldn't let me lay on my left side since the baby seemed o do better when I was on the right. It hurt!

They came to check me as promised in about an hour's time, and I made it to...8.5 centimeters! Everyone cheered; I grunted. Pain...was....getting...worse. I kept pressing that button at Chris's urging. It really only helped a little.

In about 20 minutes (it's about 8:15 at this time) I started to feel a lot more pressure. I told my nurse who got the doctor who confirmed I was fully dilated. Wow! This was so much faster than Annika. They are right that the second kid is a lot faster. Unfortunately, he was still having issues with his heart rate, but they kept a close eye on it and let me continue on.

The doctor left so I could start pushing with the nurse. She asked me how long I had pushed with Annika and I said 4 hours...she raised an eyebrow, but just said "OK, we'll see how this one goes." She got me all set up, asked me to push and.....told me to stop! S

he said "Yeah, we'll be getting the doctor right now...he's pretty much here." Again...not at all like my stubborn daughter. A good sign of things to come?...

The doctor came about 10 minutes later. They asked me to push. I did. They said "stop stop!" I guess he was halfway out? Then they asked me to push one more time...and he was here!!! 9:11pm. They plopped him on my belly and he was just beautiful!! Also, I asked to cut the cord (when would I ever get to do that in my life?) and they gave me the scissors and I did. (It was squishy and I was scared I was going to cut him).

Welcome to the world Declan!

But...he wasn't really crying and I knew he had passed some meconium. I realized he had probably swallowed some, and even worse, probably aspirated some...they whisked him away to his little bassinet and I waited.

Chris was with him as the nurse suctioned his little lungs and nose. He wouldn't cry. I could hear them saying his oxygen saturation was lower than they'd like. He tried to cry...it sounded sad. The bassinet was directly in my line of site from my bed and I kept staring at it, willing myself to be calm. And he just wouldn't get loud.

Chris was taking pictures and looking over at me and giving me thumbs up...I make fun of him about that now because at that point, nothing was ok...but he was trying to reassure me. It worked...a little.

Then the nurse finally asked for a doctor from the NICU to come. I could feel the panic welling, but just kept it locked in a box. I was terrified.

Chris told me later that for the first 8-10 minutes, his oxygen sats were 78-82...a healthy baby should get 95-100. My poor sweetie. But the nurse never gave up on him and kept working on him - I could see her calm fear from across the room, but I could also sense that she was willing him to breathe...and just as the doctor arrived, he was up to 100. The doctor reassured us all immediately that he was fine since he was at 100 at that point. He said that his nose would be swollen for a while since she was shoving tubes down it for a while, so he might snort a bit (and did he!) but he was fine. I had never ever been more relieved in my life.

They finally brought him back to me and he was so serene and beautiful. It is true...you have enough room in your heart to love all of your children, and that love is limitless. I can't wait to get to know him better.

Stats:

Length of labor with Annika: 25 hours

Length of labor with Declan: 15 hours

Annika's birth weight: 8 pounds, 1 ounce

Declan's birth weight: 8 pounds, 10 ounces

Annika was born 10 days passed her due date

Declan was born 6 days passed his due date

How much weight Annika lost in her first week: 1+ pounds

How much weight Declan lost in his first week: maybe an ounce?

Day of the week Annika was born: Friday

Day of the week Declan was born: Monday

More cuteness

Annika's big adventure

Big sisterhood.

The short of it: she is loving it. The longer of it: well, not all of the time...

But she can't get enough of him:


If she could hold him all day without him crying, she would do it. But, well, he cries.

My view right now

We're home!

Declan Vaughn Hakes

8 pounds, 10 ounces. 21 inches long. Born at 9:11 pm on May 4.

Going to sleep now.




-- Post From My iPhone

Finally

At the hospital. 4.5 centimeters dilated. Bring it! (and by bring it, I mean the drugs...)



-- Post From My iPhone

Still at home

Still pregnant.

Today

Taking a long walk in the mall. Feel big.

No baby yet.

No...not yet

As an FYI, Annika was 11 days late.

Baby #2's Nursery

Bedding: Courtesy of Migi's "Splash"

Paint color: Courtesy of Benjamin Moore

Crib and other furnishings: Courtesy of Annika

Name: Courtesy of the Baby Name Wizard

Fish theme: Courtesy of Daddy

Boowie the Dog

It's pronounced "boo-wee"...not sure how it's spelled, but I took a chance.

Annika and I have been drawing together all night. She says the animal she wants me to "trace" (i.e. freehand of anything that seems doable on the internet) and she colors. So far, she has colored a butterfly, frog, tapir, dog and is currently working on a kitty cat. Oh - and she wants to be a kitty cat for Halloween this year. She's told us about a thousand times.

Oh - tapir was not a typo.

Non-updates

No baby yet. He is due 4/28 - so it's ok. Originally we had a due date of 4/22, so wanted to clarify any confusion...I am not late (yet). Annika was 10 days late - so I'm actually familiar with that awesome feeling. (Yes, the use of "awesome" was sarcastic).

I feel ok for the most part. Tired (of course), cranky (a little...Chris would say a lot) and a somewhat emotional (I almost cried when reading Annika "Horton Hears a Who"...what a beautiful story!). I have terrible hip pains, usually at night after a long day's work (cleaning, shopping, general merriment). But otherwise...just waiting for the little dude to make his appearance!

Been on maternity leave since last Monday and I am very grateful that I don't have to go to work right now. Getting up every morning on Annika's schedule is rough enough - but for work we'd get up earlier. I'm tired writing this post.

I'll post pictures of the little dude's nursery soon- I think it came out great, but still needs a few more accent pieces. Hopefully I'll have time to get a few before the big day because after that - I don't think I'll care all that much.

64? Nah...96!

One of my most prized possessions when growing up was my box of 64 Crayola crayons. Annika has dozen of drawing utensils, but no box o' 64. I kept trying to remind myself to get her a box, but it continually slipped my mind.

Through the fog, I finally remembered and made good on that promise to myself. We went to the drugstore last night and picked up a box...but well, everything in Annika's life is bigger and better than anything I've ever known, so I opted for the box of 96. Who knew it existed? Oh, and it totally has a built-in sharpener. Genius!

She has really enjoyed - as much as I hoped - and is finding a new interest in coloring. I think the wide array of colors makes any girl happy. Next stop...make-up.

Annika the Builder