Reflections on maternity leave

My leave comes to a shuddering close this Monday - I head back to work on September 1. Of course, this change brings about mixed feelings. I feel like I've just gotten to know Declan - he's sweet, enjoys a cuddle and is just learning about his body - what his hands can do, what it feels like to put a toy in his mouth and how to keep his head up while on his tummy. Little things, but little things that are defining my son.

And he'll probably be my only son. Pretty sure our shop is closed and that's bittersweet....sweet because we can see our future stretching out before us and we're able to plan...bitter because there will be no other time in my mid-life when I'll have 4 months off to enjoy my family. To exclusively focus on my lovely children who teach me something every day.

In a lot of ways, I was able to bond more with Annika during these 4 months than Declan. She reacts strongly to my being at work, and we've become very close. She's not a cuddler like her brother, but she knows I am, so she lets me hold her whenever I want - something she doesn't do when I'm away for a while. During the days I've had with both kids, I saw all of Annika's personality - the good, the bad and the ugly...but mostly the good. I saw her kindness and appreciation of Declan, what makes her laugh, and her never-ending quest to get *me* to laugh...she's a comedienne for sure. Her artistic sensibilities have become more sophisticated over the summer - she draws in the lines! She uses realistic colors and she has a real pride in her work. She's working on her lack of patience and is starting to understand how much she wants to contribute to our household - she wants to do "chores" and help with Baby Bro whenever we need her.

Leaving Declan will be hard, too. He's just starting to have those bright eyes of understanding...he smiles when smiled at and is hungry for attention and information. He's finally learning how to fall asleep on his own, though I don't think his night wakings will be gone by next week...but that's ok - more time with my little guy. It breaks my heart that I might miss those upcoming milestones...but I know he'll eventually appreciate having a Mommy who is challenged at home and outside of it.

Four months is not enough, so maybe if we're ever granted a "surprise" we can move to Europe where leave is a lot longer. But I'll never forget this summer and can't wait for what the future brings.

Annika's first soda

We're pretty strict about Annika's fluid intake - she can pretty much eat anything she can get her grubby hands on, but I'm weird about drinks. No juice, unless it's a special occasion and definitely no soda. She gets chocolate milk about once every 6 months. It's milk and water for her, and she's actually ok with that.

Two of her favorite shows, Catscratch and SpongeBob romanticize root beer. Main characters in each show crave root beer and go to great lengths to secure it. She talks about it a lot - what is root beer? what does it taste like? why is it special? I told her that root beer is soda, and she's not allowed to have soda - so that's why it's special. She really never presses the issue.

We went shopping yesterday and wandered into the soda section. I thought to myself - be a hero! - so I plucked a 2 liter of Safeway's best (we can work our way up to the name brands) and announced she could try it. She was super excited and a little nervous (maybe I made her afraid of soda?).

The Negretes came for a visit that evening and after dinner I asked her if she was ready for her glass of root beer. Oh, she was! Check out the twinkle in her eye before the big moment:



Then the big moment:



And, finally, the sickening realization that this stuff did not taste right (check out Nico's terrified expression in the background):



She continued to make horrified faces for 2-3 more minutes and wouldn't be talked into trying another drop. Ha! Great news! My kid hates soda...I wonder how I can apply this to her candy habits?

So I asked her today why she didn't like root beer, and this is what she told me, "It was too sour and too bubbly. Actually, I think the bubbles caused the sour trouble."

Born to ride

Chatty

Declan loves to talk, and he's especially aggressive when he's trying to say something. It's like the little wheels are turning and he wants to converse, but he knows what will come out won't quite capture his opinion.

He coos a lot for Chris but usually freezes up for the camera. This is one of his better showings.

Tuckered out.

Annika slept through the night starting at 3 months. We knew at the time we were lucky, but now that I have a kid who isn't as...accommodating...now I really know how lucky we were.

I think what worries me the most is when I go back to work (countdown: just over two weeks to go) and I walk around like a zombie. I am fully aware I'm not the only person in all the land to go to work sleepless, but doesn't mean I'll like it!

In other, more happy news, Declan laughs! Chris has a pretty surefire way to make that happen - it involves a lot of belly tickles. He also is close to rolling over and I'm pretty sure he's starting to teethe. He drools incessantly, bites on most anything he can get his hands on (not me - knock on wood), and often throws his hands into his mouth. Could be part of the sleeping problem? Maybe? I don't know...too tired to care.

Annika got moved up in her preschool to "Red Group 1" which basically means Pre-K. A little more focus on letters, numbers, learning, etc. as opposed to socialization. I was worried she would have difficulty transitioning, but she told me this morning that she likes her new classroom and was worried at first, but isn't any more.

OK- how about now?

Though, maybe the better question is why do I still have this same towel after 4 years?

Stretchy baby

Today

Had a good day today - both kids slept in (sorta...Annika got up a little before 9 while Declan got up at 4 and 7, but then slept till 10:15.). So I snuck in some good rest...sorta.

Rounded up the troops for a Starbucks run around noon. I prefer to get it earlier, but with the late start and treating myself to a shower mixed in with some feeding, that was pretty much our first shot.

After a quick drive-thru experience, I decided to keep driving because I wasn't ready to face the rest of the day in my messy home. Annika and I pretended we were underwater - she was an eel, Declan was a jellyfish and I was a whale...not my choice.

We passed by the bookstore and I suggested we check it out - Annika was game, and I've been steadily trying to improve Declan'a book collection. We had a blast there, picked up two new books for Miss Annika and one for Dex.

When we got home, we "played" with Declan which translates to laying on a blanket and waving toys in his face. Annika is pretty good at keeping him entertained and we had a great time - no one more than D who loooves attention of all kinds.

Scooby Doo movie for Annika, feeding for D , and a quick game of backyard I Spy rounded out the afternoon.

Whew! I am beat, but not too shabby. Though, my house is still a mess.

2...the new 1?

Before we even considered having a second baby, Chris and I heard horror stories of additional children....we were told that having 2 wasn't twice the work...it was exponentially more work! A number high enough couldn't be assigned! Ahhh!!!

I'm sure I'll eat my words, but after 12 weeks, I have to say that 2 might be...wait for it....easier than 1. WHAT IS THIS?

Now, before we get crazy, let's remember that I'm still playing stay-at-home-mom/housewife right now, so maybe when I'm back at work, I'll be singing a different tune. We also have to take into account that Annika is in preschool 3 mornings a week and with her sainted grandparents a great majority of the rest of the week....effectively limiting my 'on the clock' time with both kids. And on the weekends I have a wonderful husband who happily shares the workload with me...it's a pretty sweet deal.

That said, when I do have both of them, it's...dare I say? Fun. Annika is usually a sweet dear (with notable exceptions) and makes it easy for me to feed Declan throughout the day or is patient when we have to delay her lunch by 20 minutes after I settle Declan down for a nap. She completely understands that he's a baby that needs much of my attention, and she is usually satisfied with the 1:1 time I can give her when he's occupied. We usually spend the day completing a couple of art projects, going to the park, or having a picnic outside. It's such a pleasure getting to know her during those moments that it makes the day go by quickly.

The flip side of that is by the time Chris gets home, I'm wiped out. With two kids, there is no downtime...but is that exponentially harder? KNOCK ON WOOD...not for us, so far. Declan appears to be gearing up for a teething tragedy while Annika is having a week of whininess unparalleled.

What makes it "easier" is that with #2, I sorta know what I'm doing. I don't worry about how much he's eating (apparently a lot), when he's eating, how much he's crying, what's he's crying about, when he's sleeping...you get the picture. Declan is not an easy baby, but he's not the roughest either, and I think having the experience with Annika oh-so-many years ago makes it so much more....possible. I don't fear so many things as I did with her...I just do it. I would imagine this has a lot to do with the assumption that first borns are high strung and babies of the family are waaayyy relaxed. It's all making sense...

Nothing is perfect, but I thought it was worth noting that we have it pretty good. I do recommend having the second kid! Sleep is not bountiful, your life is utterly centered around your kids but what you get from it - another little life to love, and a closer family than ever - makes it a pretty awesome thing.

Oh - are we going for #3? Hell no!

My poor son's wife

You need sound for this video.

Making good on a promise

I promised some video footage of Annika's pool party. Here's a clip of her swimming "on her own." She needs some materials to make this happen, but it's actually a handy little system to keep her afloat.

Entertainment?

Maybe I've blocked this part out, but when Annika was Declan's age, I don't recall her being so hungry for attention and entertainment. Don't get me wrong - I realize that 11-week-olds enjoy the attention and want to be cooed at, fed and cuddled, but Declan is *starving* for it. He just needs someone to be in his face at all times and if you're not in his face, you better be holding him - or else! I type this as he screams in his crib...he's completely tired and ready for a nap, but refuses to fall asleep.

Any ideas? We have the playmat, which is useful for about 10 minutes. He does like it, but the magic wears off. He started to enjoy Annika's old bouncy chair, but now he gets furious off when he sees the toys that dangle from the overhead bar. Annika used to squawk at the bird, but Declan screams at it like it's going to come alive and peck his eyes out.

He has a new toy named Sandy the Seahorse that captures his attention for about 2.48 minutes. He picked it out at Babies R Us (after I showed him a few toys while we shopped - and that one elicited a smile) but since he's not ready to fully grab and grasp things yet, it's usefulness is short lived as well.

Maybe he's going through a phase. Maybe it's second child syndrome - since his attention from birth has been split with his sister. Maybe he's just a needy little boy. I'm ok with that, but it sure does make the day go by slllooowwwlllyyyyy....

If you have any ideas for entertainment, drop me a comment. I'm open to all & any suggestions!

I think my kids look alike

Who's with me???

Annika at 10 weeks:



Declan at 10 weeks:

For Chris

Chris said he doesn't like the picture of his son, topless in a denim hat. So I'm posting this so we can move on with our lives.

Weight check

When Chris and I take Declan out, we get one of two comments: "He sure looks like a boy" or "Wow - he's big!" I guess it's a good thing that he looks like a boy, but the big comment is mixed. I mean - he's two months old - do I need to worry about weight problems already??? Probably not. We went to the doctor's yesterday for his 2-month check-up and one thing we know about our doctor is that he'll say something's wrong if something is. He said that he's big for his age, but also tall, so he didn't have any issues. It is a little disturbing though when you see a walking 1-year old at the Injection Clinic and she's the same size as your 10-week old son...

But whatever! He's damn cute!

Here are his stats:

Height: 24.13 inches (81st percentile)
Weight: 15 pounds, .5 ounces (96th percentile)
Head circumference: 16.14 inches (66th percentile)

Annika's head circumference was never smaller than 95th percentile. Chris made the comment - no wonder it seems easier to put on Declan's shirts...

More fun updates on Declan - he is smiling more and staying awake longer. He is much more interested in his surroundings and he's always looking for entertainment. If you're unable to meet his expectations of entertainment, he'll cry...loudly.

Today he purposely knocked his hanging car seat toy. He was so proud! He smiled and even laughed a bit. I saw him continuing to try and hit it and he was so excited when he connected.

Oh and yesterday when he got his first series of shots, I marveled at how differently my children reacted. Annika was always a trouper about it - she would feel the needle go in and go still...then she'd look at you and then SOB. But she was overit pretty quick. Declan cried the second the needle grazed his skin and so deeply that he stopped breathing. His face was so red and the screaming so loud. I'm sure we scared a couple of kids in the waiting room...sorry!!

We had a bit of a scare yesterday - Declan vomited up blood. Luckily we already had the doctor appointment scheduled, so I tried not to panic too much. It only happened once, too, which was good. The Doc said that his esophagus could be irritated by all the times he spits up (usually 2-3 times after every feeding) so he prescribed an antacid. No blood any more, but not sure if the antacid is helping. But it's been 12 hours. So maybe I'll give it a little more time...

Lucky

"Momma...I feel lucky."

"You do, sweetie? Why is that?"

"I feel lucky to have parents like you."

Back at ya, kid.

Looks cute now

But puked all morning and can't stay asleep. Annika just woke him up after he finally went down. Yay.......

But this (sorta) makes it worth it.

Some more birthday stuff

Since Annika's birthday was on a Wednesday, we kept the actual day of her birthday pretty low key. She still went to school where she brought cupcakes. She went to her cousin's house after school then Chris and I picked them both up for a trip to Chuck E Cheese. We all came back after a couple of hours to have cake and ice cream. Wednesday kicked off the weekend of birthdays, and it'll probably take her another day or so to fully recover. She's napping on the couch as I type this, and is incredibly cranky. Tough life!

Party weekend

Not only was Annika's pool 4th birthday party this weekend, but so were two other important birthday parties - Nico's and cousins Pierce and Audrey. This is what she looked like after her 6-hour party yesterday:

Backing up a bit, this is what she looked like in the middle of the party after a 2-hour swim and after she swallowed some water:

Then it got a little better when the pinata made its appearance:

Oh, and she enjoyed her birthday cake and the party theme - Scooby Doo. Have I mentioned how much she loves Scooby Doo? It's unnatural. So unnatural in fact that she's watching the live action movie right now...who would do that willingly? Only a true fan!

I'll post some video from the part(ies) later this week. I have some great pool action shots, though I missed Chris's cannonball.

Baby turns 4

My little girl is 4. Four years old! Four going on 18....

Annika is a really special person. She is caring. She is smart. She is selfless, and she is picky. She's so unique that Chris and I often marvel that we created her...we created this awesome person.

Annika asks a lot of questions. She understands a lot. We had a conversation last week about creationism vs. evolution. She so far is pretty sure that God created the Earth and people, but respects Darwin's position.

This year will be remembered for Declan's birth. But I hope we also remember that this is the year that Annika entered Pre-K, tried to learn to swim, asked for "Jack In The Box" for the first time (embarrassing...but true) and told me that she would "never break up" with me and that we'll be "best friends forever."

Annika - I love you so much, it swallows me up! You'll always be my baby and my best friend. Happy Birthday to you.