[Insert name here] Knows Best

I knew that it would eventually happen. I knew that some random lady would walk up to me and tell me how to raise my child.

OK...let me back up a bit. When I was pregnant, I quickly learned that my pregnancy was everyone's business. From the retail clerk asking how far along I was, to a co-worker asking me if I "had an elephant in there" to my family warning me that "it was really going to hurt."

You would think that something that forces a woman to gain, ahem, 35 pounds(+), be cranky, have tummy issues and feel naseous would be a private thing. When a woman is "festively plump" no one says to her "Wow - you sure have gotten big!" That special comment is reserved for us lucky pregnant ladies.

So, my new theory is that people in your pregnancy bidness is a warm-up to people in your baby-raising bidness. People just loooove to give you their little nuggets of what/how/when/if you should feed them/put them to sleep/read to them/give them stuffed animals. It really never ends. Oh - and everyone is right! EVERYONE! Even if you get conflicting advice!

Well, I'm a self-professed know-it-all, so I understand the inclination. But since we can probably all admit that we're each screw-ups in some special way when it comes to raising kids, I'll take your advice with a grain of salt and mess her up on my own, thank you very much.

So, I get a lot of this from family and friends - and that's ok (usually). They are actually well-meaning, love my daughter, and want to help. But when a lady in the park has the following exchange with me, I'm like...WHAT?

Scene: Mommy and Annika walking around the park - Annika enjoying the sounds and sights of children playing.

Crazy Lady: Oh hello there! (to Annika) What is your name?
Mommy: Her name is Annika.
CL: Don't you want to climb this gym?
Mommy: Oh, we can't walk yet!
(eyes narrow)CL: OH? How old is she?
Mommy: 11 months.
CL: Oh...(pause). My grandson walked at 12 months! All we did was tell him to do it! All you have to do it just let her!
(Mommy thinks - Oh is it that easy? If I only I had known!)
(actually says)Mommy: Yeah, well, we walk around with her and hold her arms - she's getting good at it!
CL: Oh yes! That's what you have to do! My husband did that with my grandson, and he quickly learned!
Mommy: Um - ok. Annika - say bye-bye.

- The End. -

What upset me about this scene was 1) the implication that something was wrong with Annika because she wasn't swinging from the jungle gym and walking 10k hikes and 2) that I got defensive. I do not like it when anyone implies that Annika is less than perfect because she truly, truly is in my eyes. It's a shocking realization to firmly believe that there's not one imperfection with your baby. I'm pretty sure that I would testify in a court of law that Annika Madeline is perfection to infinity.

Sickening, I know.

Anyway, the moral of this story - I'm a big crank when it comes to my kid!

Pictures

I am not a photographer. Though I usually manage to keep eveyone's heads in the picture, that's really as far as my expertise goes. But Annika makes me want to be a photographer. She makes me want to look for interesting colors, textures, light...you get the drift.

As much as I want to, however, I'm not really capable.

That being said, I still have no shortage of "cute" pictures of the baby girl. They may not be expert quality, but the subject looks pretty darn good about 99.48% of the time.

So, Chris wanted to send a picture of Annika to an old friend. His direction to me was "send me a cute picture of Annika, fairly recent."

Like...HELLO. All of the pictures from the last month fit this criteria!

So I send him this one:


Then he writes me back and says "Yeah, I need one that features the crazy hair."

Well, FINE - but let's be more specific next time. So I send this one:


Which one do you guys think is cuter?

2 cute 4 U

Every night, about 20-30 minutes after we put Annika to bed, one of us barks to the other "Go check on my baby!"

It's much more collaborative than it sounds.

When the one who went to check returns, we report back on what we witnessed. We go on to describe her level of awakeness (usually fast asleep), if she seems hot (checked her forehead, and it's cool), where the blanket is in relation to her body (wrapped around her face) and what position she's in (various options, insert here: ____).

She is just TOO CUTE when she's asleep. I can't even tell you. I want to grab her out of the crib and kiss her all over, but it's only been 11 months since weeks of sleepless nights, and the memory is still all too clear in my mind, so I'm able to easily restrain myself.

This is what Chris discovered this evening:



You'll note the side-lying position, the crossed feet and the blanket placement. The first time I found her on her side was only a few weeks ago - she had been a very diligent back sleeper up until that moment. Now we find her in all sorts of places in the crib. One of her favorites is flat on her back with her arms spread wide and her left foot propped up on the crib bumper. Seriously guys....2 CUTE 4 U!

Oh yeah - and check out the hair. When we take her to stores/restaurants/the park, the most common exclamation re: Annika is, "Oh my God! What a head of hair!" Happens very frequently. I usually roll my eyes and say, "Yeah, it's crazy." I mean...isn't it? Like, Albert Einstein crazy. Maybe she'll be a genius! Maybe she already is! Maybe she's German!

I'm tired now (obviously). Good night!

Mommies

Do any of you guys remember that there used to be a TV show called "Mommies?" I seem to recall it was horrible. How sad for us!

Yes...us...I am a Mommy. Wow. What a moniker. How hard to live up to that word and all it implies. And how quickly it becomes a part of who you are, how quickly loving your child becomes all of who you are.

I had a wonderful day today simply because I was with the two people I love most in the world - my husband and my daughter. Annika gave me a card and many smiles - and even said "Mama" after much prompting. Don't ask me if it were in context...because I won't tell you the truth.

But what I want to say is that I've learned so much from other mommies out there that I know. How much over the last 10.5 months I have learned from girlfriends who traded in their purses for diaper bags and who have fed their babies from their boobies...maybe with a little complaining (well, that was mostly me) but all of them - without fail - completely changed their lives for their little ones without question and with a whole lot of love. Happy Mother's Day to:

Lisa. My Annika's godmother was with me for every moment as we carried our babies in our bellies. Only 6 days after Annika joined this world, little Nico was born, and we've navigated Gymboree, breast pumps and sleep sacks together. She has taught me patience, joy in each new wonderful thing these kids do and how to use hair gel in baby hair. I love you Lisa!

Tam. Tam's love for her daughter is documented. If Tamara didn't live on the East Coast, I have no doubt we'd be strolling in the park with our baby girls as we traded secrets of how to get decent sleep while caring for a baby and succeeding at a full-time job. But what is the coolest about Tamara is that she is honest. She knows her limits - but she also pushes them and Lydia is the beneficiary of that. Tam - I miss you! Come back to me in sunny CA!

Katie. Katie is probably one of the nicest people I have ever known. Her kindness is sort of legendary - and you can tell that her baby girl Audrey and new baby boy, Jack, will have no choice but to emulate that. Katie is smart in the way she rears her children, understanding of everyone she knows and even manages to find time to make me feel better about the myriad of mistakes I tend to make. She also cooked me three casseroles after Annika was born which Chris and I basically lived on for a week. Katie - you are a *rock* star.

Laura. Laura is going to have her third baby girl - and if this one is anything like the first two, she is going to be a happy Momma. Her two girls are obviously so incredibly loved and cared for - you can tell this through the way they interact with people and each other. They are kind, funny and actually interesting people to hang out with - all at the ripe ages of 5 and 2! Laura is also the kind of person that knows the answer to everything, which has been such a comfort for me as I try to figure out what the hell I'm doing. Laura, Megan and Alina are so lucky to have you - and I am too!

Mandy. Travis was born just a day before Annika in an emergency C-section. Like, hello...did I even know Mandy had a C-section until 3 weeks after the little guy was born? And like, hello...did she actually send me flowers when Annika was born and Travis wasn't even a week old??? Yes! Mandy is the superwoman that you read about in the magazines. She has a demanding job and lifestyle, but that never slows her down - and she does all of this with a smile on her face. Mandy - you've taught me to stay happy in even the most adverse of conditions. You can come back to me, too, by the way!

And of course, my Mom. She isn't really a "girlfriend" but she is my friend and the one woman that I feel I know almost as well as myself. My mother has a warm, sweet heart and she wears her soul on her sleeve. She will always give you a hug and a smile and make sure the fridge is always stocked with your favorite goodies. She is a harsh critic - but she is fair - and she is constantly striving to be a better person. Mom - you don't have to be better. I like you just the way you are.

Gettin' swingy wit' it

The kids and the swings.

Traveler

I don't recommend taking a 10-month old baby on a plane ride without backup. Oh, how I love my husband, let me count the ways...It's easy to take day-to-day support for granted. Chris and I truly share in the responsibility of raising the baby, and the loss of his presence is felt when he isn't around.

I took Annika to see my parents this weekend while Chris was at a bachelor party in South Carolina (Hi Erik!) - and though her charm knows no bounds, much energy is drained while tending to her many needs. However, it actually all went better than I expected. She didn't have ear troubles, she made quite a few friends (young and old) and kept the complaining to a minimum.

When Chris came back today he remarked, "She looks older!" I think the cabin pressure aged her. I know it aged me.

Caption:"I like plane rides. I like hitting the guy in the middle seat with a bag of Cheerios."