[Insert name here] Knows Best

I knew that it would eventually happen. I knew that some random lady would walk up to me and tell me how to raise my child.

OK...let me back up a bit. When I was pregnant, I quickly learned that my pregnancy was everyone's business. From the retail clerk asking how far along I was, to a co-worker asking me if I "had an elephant in there" to my family warning me that "it was really going to hurt."

You would think that something that forces a woman to gain, ahem, 35 pounds(+), be cranky, have tummy issues and feel naseous would be a private thing. When a woman is "festively plump" no one says to her "Wow - you sure have gotten big!" That special comment is reserved for us lucky pregnant ladies.

So, my new theory is that people in your pregnancy bidness is a warm-up to people in your baby-raising bidness. People just loooove to give you their little nuggets of what/how/when/if you should feed them/put them to sleep/read to them/give them stuffed animals. It really never ends. Oh - and everyone is right! EVERYONE! Even if you get conflicting advice!

Well, I'm a self-professed know-it-all, so I understand the inclination. But since we can probably all admit that we're each screw-ups in some special way when it comes to raising kids, I'll take your advice with a grain of salt and mess her up on my own, thank you very much.

So, I get a lot of this from family and friends - and that's ok (usually). They are actually well-meaning, love my daughter, and want to help. But when a lady in the park has the following exchange with me, I'm like...WHAT?

Scene: Mommy and Annika walking around the park - Annika enjoying the sounds and sights of children playing.

Crazy Lady: Oh hello there! (to Annika) What is your name?
Mommy: Her name is Annika.
CL: Don't you want to climb this gym?
Mommy: Oh, we can't walk yet!
(eyes narrow)CL: OH? How old is she?
Mommy: 11 months.
CL: Oh...(pause). My grandson walked at 12 months! All we did was tell him to do it! All you have to do it just let her!
(Mommy thinks - Oh is it that easy? If I only I had known!)
(actually says)Mommy: Yeah, well, we walk around with her and hold her arms - she's getting good at it!
CL: Oh yes! That's what you have to do! My husband did that with my grandson, and he quickly learned!
Mommy: Um - ok. Annika - say bye-bye.

- The End. -

What upset me about this scene was 1) the implication that something was wrong with Annika because she wasn't swinging from the jungle gym and walking 10k hikes and 2) that I got defensive. I do not like it when anyone implies that Annika is less than perfect because she truly, truly is in my eyes. It's a shocking realization to firmly believe that there's not one imperfection with your baby. I'm pretty sure that I would testify in a court of law that Annika Madeline is perfection to infinity.

Sickening, I know.

Anyway, the moral of this story - I'm a big crank when it comes to my kid!