All choked up

Annika "graduated" from Kindergarten this week. I'm so over these "graduations" but well, it's still cute and I still eat it up like a cupcake with peanut butter icing and devils food cake...was that too specific?

The teacher promised the parents who were able to go a "surprise" and a surprise we got! The kids sang four songs that they had clearly been practicing and they even had little hand motions for many of the words. It was super cute, to say the least, but I found myself holding back sobs thinking to myself "she'll never have it this good again."



Not that I'm that much of a pessimist - I think Annika will have a swell life. But after Kindergarten, when do you really get to sing with your friends and sit on a carpet with different colors and have a room full of toys to play with during your "free choice" time? When do you have 4-hour school days and "snack time" and friends who forget to zip up their pants and have their shoes on backwards and no one cares? I literally had to pinch myself to stop crying while they sang, sad that my little girl is on her way to finding out what life is really like.

Again, this sounds so awful, but come on...it's true. Mortgage payments, fat jeans, teeth whitening, busted water heaters, weird neighbors...it's all coming for her. I'm so sad that her innocence will slowly be chipped away until she finds herself writing a blog post (or whatever they have in the year 2028) about many of these same subjects.

As we were walking back to the car, I started to tear up again, and she asked me "Momma, are you sad because I am growing up? I'm not even in 1st grade yet!" And I laughed a bit and said, "Yeah baby, I am sad. I'm sorry." Then she insisted she would cheer me up. Her tactic? "Think about my butt."

It worked.

Two whole years

Believe it! The little monster is now two...



His latest tricks:

- Telling knock knock jokes.
- Proclaiming "I did it!" when he keeps at a task and gets it done.
- Running...everywhere.
- Asking to read many books at a sitting.
- Crying to get his way (oh, that's not really a new trick).
- Yelling, "DOOO!!!" when he wants to watch Scooby Doo.
- Telling us "I sorry" when he makes a mistake.
- And apparently, he really likes to and is very good at, blowing out candles.

I love you my little two year old!!! How lucky is a Momma like me to have a baby like you?

Five alive

Happy 5th birthday (yes, it was yesterday) to a gorgeous girl who loves to play imagination games, eat gummy worms, ride tricycles, beg for dessert, make deals for cash, watch Futurama, take spare change, dance, jump, smell her blanket, cuddle her brother, write her name, ask lots and lots and lots of questions, learn about the world, swim, get pedicures, go to the park, make funny faces and hug her family.

We are lucky to know you, sweetie!

Stuff and stuff

As we know from this movie, Declan turned 1 two weeks ago. (By the way, why so little comments on the movie? (Thanks Mandy) I love that song! It took me nearly two hours to put together! Come on, people. If I don't get more comments this time, I'll be forced to link to it in every post until I get enough to satisfy me. Don't test me.)

Declan got his one year check-up and is right on track physically and developmentally...he's skinny (for a child of ours), cruising in at the 50th percentile for weight and 70th for height. I know, not "skinny".

As Declan gets more aware and interactive, I see the relationship between him and his sister grow. She loves to help out with him and he generally is annoyed by that...but no one can make him smile wider. Makes me miss my own brother!



Annika graduates preschool in a month. Yes, I said "graduates." I might think the ceremony is ridiculous, but I'll be the first fool there taking pictures! Don't you worry.

Declan hates milk.

Annika is starting to clean up after herself.

Declan had the croup.

Annika had the croup.

I have the stomach flu.

I love my family.

Declan sees the ocean for the first time

Monterey, CA

School picture

Geez...next year it'll be for Kindergarten! I'm not ready!

Also, I did not order the cheesy farm hills background...I picked blue.

Reflections on maternity leave

My leave comes to a shuddering close this Monday - I head back to work on September 1. Of course, this change brings about mixed feelings. I feel like I've just gotten to know Declan - he's sweet, enjoys a cuddle and is just learning about his body - what his hands can do, what it feels like to put a toy in his mouth and how to keep his head up while on his tummy. Little things, but little things that are defining my son.

And he'll probably be my only son. Pretty sure our shop is closed and that's bittersweet....sweet because we can see our future stretching out before us and we're able to plan...bitter because there will be no other time in my mid-life when I'll have 4 months off to enjoy my family. To exclusively focus on my lovely children who teach me something every day.

In a lot of ways, I was able to bond more with Annika during these 4 months than Declan. She reacts strongly to my being at work, and we've become very close. She's not a cuddler like her brother, but she knows I am, so she lets me hold her whenever I want - something she doesn't do when I'm away for a while. During the days I've had with both kids, I saw all of Annika's personality - the good, the bad and the ugly...but mostly the good. I saw her kindness and appreciation of Declan, what makes her laugh, and her never-ending quest to get *me* to laugh...she's a comedienne for sure. Her artistic sensibilities have become more sophisticated over the summer - she draws in the lines! She uses realistic colors and she has a real pride in her work. She's working on her lack of patience and is starting to understand how much she wants to contribute to our household - she wants to do "chores" and help with Baby Bro whenever we need her.

Leaving Declan will be hard, too. He's just starting to have those bright eyes of understanding...he smiles when smiled at and is hungry for attention and information. He's finally learning how to fall asleep on his own, though I don't think his night wakings will be gone by next week...but that's ok - more time with my little guy. It breaks my heart that I might miss those upcoming milestones...but I know he'll eventually appreciate having a Mommy who is challenged at home and outside of it.

Four months is not enough, so maybe if we're ever granted a "surprise" we can move to Europe where leave is a lot longer. But I'll never forget this summer and can't wait for what the future brings.

Making good on a promise

I promised some video footage of Annika's pool party. Here's a clip of her swimming "on her own." She needs some materials to make this happen, but it's actually a handy little system to keep her afloat.

Weight check

When Chris and I take Declan out, we get one of two comments: "He sure looks like a boy" or "Wow - he's big!" I guess it's a good thing that he looks like a boy, but the big comment is mixed. I mean - he's two months old - do I need to worry about weight problems already??? Probably not. We went to the doctor's yesterday for his 2-month check-up and one thing we know about our doctor is that he'll say something's wrong if something is. He said that he's big for his age, but also tall, so he didn't have any issues. It is a little disturbing though when you see a walking 1-year old at the Injection Clinic and she's the same size as your 10-week old son...

But whatever! He's damn cute!

Here are his stats:

Height: 24.13 inches (81st percentile)
Weight: 15 pounds, .5 ounces (96th percentile)
Head circumference: 16.14 inches (66th percentile)

Annika's head circumference was never smaller than 95th percentile. Chris made the comment - no wonder it seems easier to put on Declan's shirts...

More fun updates on Declan - he is smiling more and staying awake longer. He is much more interested in his surroundings and he's always looking for entertainment. If you're unable to meet his expectations of entertainment, he'll cry...loudly.

Today he purposely knocked his hanging car seat toy. He was so proud! He smiled and even laughed a bit. I saw him continuing to try and hit it and he was so excited when he connected.

Oh and yesterday when he got his first series of shots, I marveled at how differently my children reacted. Annika was always a trouper about it - she would feel the needle go in and go still...then she'd look at you and then SOB. But she was overit pretty quick. Declan cried the second the needle grazed his skin and so deeply that he stopped breathing. His face was so red and the screaming so loud. I'm sure we scared a couple of kids in the waiting room...sorry!!

We had a bit of a scare yesterday - Declan vomited up blood. Luckily we already had the doctor appointment scheduled, so I tried not to panic too much. It only happened once, too, which was good. The Doc said that his esophagus could be irritated by all the times he spits up (usually 2-3 times after every feeding) so he prescribed an antacid. No blood any more, but not sure if the antacid is helping. But it's been 12 hours. So maybe I'll give it a little more time...

Some more birthday stuff

Since Annika's birthday was on a Wednesday, we kept the actual day of her birthday pretty low key. She still went to school where she brought cupcakes. She went to her cousin's house after school then Chris and I picked them both up for a trip to Chuck E Cheese. We all came back after a couple of hours to have cake and ice cream. Wednesday kicked off the weekend of birthdays, and it'll probably take her another day or so to fully recover. She's napping on the couch as I type this, and is incredibly cranky. Tough life!

Party weekend

Not only was Annika's pool 4th birthday party this weekend, but so were two other important birthday parties - Nico's and cousins Pierce and Audrey. This is what she looked like after her 6-hour party yesterday:

Backing up a bit, this is what she looked like in the middle of the party after a 2-hour swim and after she swallowed some water:

Then it got a little better when the pinata made its appearance:

Oh, and she enjoyed her birthday cake and the party theme - Scooby Doo. Have I mentioned how much she loves Scooby Doo? It's unnatural. So unnatural in fact that she's watching the live action movie right now...who would do that willingly? Only a true fan!

I'll post some video from the part(ies) later this week. I have some great pool action shots, though I missed Chris's cannonball.

Baby turns 4

My little girl is 4. Four years old! Four going on 18....

Annika is a really special person. She is caring. She is smart. She is selfless, and she is picky. She's so unique that Chris and I often marvel that we created her...we created this awesome person.

Annika asks a lot of questions. She understands a lot. We had a conversation last week about creationism vs. evolution. She so far is pretty sure that God created the Earth and people, but respects Darwin's position.

This year will be remembered for Declan's birth. But I hope we also remember that this is the year that Annika entered Pre-K, tried to learn to swim, asked for "Jack In The Box" for the first time (embarrassing...but true) and told me that she would "never break up" with me and that we'll be "best friends forever."

Annika - I love you so much, it swallows me up! You'll always be my baby and my best friend. Happy Birthday to you.

He smiles!

He smiles...even on his sister's lap! This is big news...whether or not it seem so to you.

He is actually picky about when he smiles - you really have to earn it. He smiles most often for Daddy who works for it. Though last night I walked up to him just to say hi and he gave me the biggest little grin. Made my night.

Annika and Declan and I have been hanging out today. A day with both the kids is exhausting, but goes fast - definitely no down time. However, I do have to say that Annika has been a model daughter and model big sister. In fact, today she really came through by entertaining Declan while I was getting ready for us to go out and run an errand. He thoroughly enjoyed it and she was gentle enough with him not to freak him out. Success!

Declan: one month

Declan will be one month on Monday, and to celebrate we went to the doctor's office today for his first well baby appointment. There were streamers and everything! (not really)

You can check all the percentiles here, but the 411 is that he's generally smaller than Annika....especially in head size. She was always in the 90th percentile for head circumference, but he's between 50-60%. Chris says he has a pinhead. I say he can wear hats made for his age!

Other stuff he can do right now: hold up his head, kinda smile (mostly when gassy, but sometimes when Chris kisses his chin), cry, eat, not sleep that much. (I am tired).

The stats:

Length: 21.75 inches

Weight: 11 pounds

Head circumference: 15 inches

Behavior modification

Annika is going through the terrible 3.5's. Now, to put it in context, a terrible Annika isn't so bad...but it is frustrating. The obvious answer might be that she's reacting to the imminent arrival of her baby brother or that she's going through a lot of her own changes that are affecting her behavior. Maybe a combination of both. I'm naive enough to think that the arrival of her baby brother isn't affecting her quite yet...when we talk about him, she is excited and well understands that he'll be limited when first introduced to our family - that he won't be an immediate playmate ready to play in the sandbox or kick the beach ball around the back yard. That said, when we talk about him sometimes, she abruptly will say, "I wish there wasn't a baby brother. I mean it." I know it sounds harsh, but these moments are fleeting and usually prompted by an extended conversation about him...naivete strikes again!

What usually sets her off is simply not getting her way. No, she can't have a piece of candy before dinner. No, she can't stay up passed her bedtime. No she can't watch her TV show. No, Momma is too tired to play dolls right now. She gets frustrated in 1-60 flat and once she teeters off the edge...well, sometimes it takes a while to get her back.

We've been spoiled for too long and there's nothing wrong with a little challenge with our first born. Because even as she frustrates me to no end, she, in the next 5 minutes, will turn and grab my face, lean forward and kiss me proclaiming, "You get one free kiss!" Not too shabby.

Radio silence

Each year, as summer turns into fall, I get into a little funk. The timing this year was especially bad as we were still working on getting back into our house, work was busy and I haven't been sleeping so well. So mix all that into a little bowl and out pops lack of blog posts.

Now dear (4) readers, I want to assure you that I haven't abandoned you, just went on a little hiatus. We do have some exciting life updates to share and there is lots to report on Annika.

Because I hate to post something without pictures, I'll keep this brief, but here's a start:

- We moved back into the house! Nothing short of a miracle (and a lot of money and time), but we're home. We were soooo lucky to rely on the generosity of my in-laws, but it was time for them to get rid of us and time for us to have more space for Annika's 7,000 toys. Annika loves the house, loves her room and loves all the furniture she can climb on and stain. We love the space, the look of it - all our choices - and the space. This definitely deserves pictures, and I promise an awesome before & after pictorial in the near future.

- Annika is a little girl - NOT A BABY. Annika delights us every day with something witty or just plain ridiculous. She is insistent on getting in and out of the car herself (it's a tall car), eating what she wants (causes me much consternation) and knows the difference between wrong and right (but doesn't always practice that knowledge). She has a tremendous sense of humor, and knows how to deliver a one-liner. One evening not so long ago, Chris was eating some ice cream for dessert. Having recently discovered Jell-O, Annika had already had dessert, and was denied when she asked to "share Daddy's ice cream." I stood my ground (trying to readjust her awful eating habits) and she just stomped around decrying that it "wasn't fair!" I said, that's irrelevant. I finally relented (DON'T JUDGE ME!) and allowed one bite. She said "Just one bite??? Just one??? NO!" I said, one or none. She said "That's impossible." Finally, she ate it, walked around in circles for a bit, ran up to me and with her hands on her hips said, "MOMMA. I DO WHAT I WANT!" Um, excuse me 3-year old? She got a time-out for that one and later apologized for "being rude" but Chris and I couldn't stop laughing. Where does she get this stuff???

More to come...

Potty-licious

No pictures, please.

Annika is about 90% potty trained. I won't go into details, but suffice to say that she can handle most "business" on the potty.  The 10% part is that she has to wear a diaper to bed because she insists on drinking 24* ounces of milk every night before she goes to bed. (* this number may be somewhat exaggerated).

This good news leads me to Part Deux of more good news...being potty trained means she has moved up a "group" at preschool. She is now a proud member of the Blue Group (formerly Yellow) though she does miss her "Yellow friends." But don't be too sad for her, she sees those friends every time she's there during combined play time.

First stop on the Growing Up Train: Potty; next stop: Doctorate.

This Many (3)

Please turn off your cell phones

Annika saw her first movie a few weeks ago. It was a big deal because Annika loves the sound of her own voice. Loves it so much, that during the viewing of most any television program requiring more than 15 minutes of her attention, she asks question after question. Sometimes, I think she cares about the answer, but to be honest - I think she just likes asking. Maybe to get us to participate in the show with her? Maybe just so she can continue to babble?  Who knows...but we never thought she'd make it through a movie.

The movie in question was Kung Fu Panda. We were worried about this movie for two reasons: 1) It was longer than 15 minutes and 2) it had a scary subplot involving a snow leopard. Proving to us how much she's grown up, the length of the movie seemed to be of little consequence to her...but her fear of the danger that Kung Fu Panda and his friends encountered during the course of their journey was almost too much. She asked after the first "scary" scene, "Can I go home now?" And that quickly turned into "Can I leave?"

To paint a picture for you, Annika was sitting on Chris's lap for about 85% of the movie. Her little body is still too light for the 'old school' theater chairs, so she had to sit on one of us. During the height of her fear, I took her and cuddled her and promised her that it would be ok. She would settle for a bit, but then cry out in fear, "Please!  I want to go home!"

It was too much for me to bear, so I told Chris that we needed to leave (having had earlier made the unholy parental pact of  'it's ok to leave if she freaks out even though we're wasting 40 bucks') and he shook his head. I said, "No..seriously."  And he said, "No."

He went to the concession counter and purchased some "incentive." Every time the scary snow leopard came on screen, she was given a piece of candy. I thought it was genius...positive reinforcement to face her fears!

It was rightly pointed out to me later by a friend, "Yeah, now she'll turn to food whenever she needs comfort in the future."

Woops.  

Giving the people what they want

It's been a while since I've given you an Annika update. Let me break the silence!

Annika is officially a little person. Maybe that sounds odd to you "non-parents" but there is something to be said for someone who can verbalize their wants, ambitions and opinions vs. someone who simply enjoyed the rhythmic musings of a wooden stick and a copper pot. The shorter point is: I can relate to her.

She asks so many questions. LIKE ALL THE TIME. But I have (nearly) endless patience for them, because it helps me understand what interests her and understand what she's observing all around her. She asks a lot about skeletons lately. She wants to know why we have them. And why they're inside our bodies. And why doesn't her stuffed monkey have a skeleton?? (Try answering that one).

She's also afraid of monsters, specifically the monsters in the shadows in her room at night. We've tried to tell her they are friendly shadows and that The Unicorn and Mr. Bear are there to protect her all night (two of her larger skeletonless stuffed friends) and that we would never let a shadow do anything to her. But she doesn't buy it. They bother her. And I understand so much. I was so fearful as a kid. No real reason, I just was. It's worrisome only because I don't ever want her to be afraid of anything, and I want her to trust 100% that we will protect her.

The fears lead to some nightmares. The most vivid and specific she's related to us is about the giant clam that ate her. He was big. He ate her. She screamed, "No No!" Why is a giant clam trying to eat my baby!

Happier news is that she has taken very kindly to her new big girl bed. She likes to draw. She loves to play with her dolls. She loooooves her Daddy. He is her best friend. She loves him so much. She wants him to read her bedtime books. She wants him to change her diaper. Blah, blah, blah... :) I'm not jealous! (Usually).

Every day is a new adventure and there are literally no words to describe how much I love her. I hope that if she decides to have kids some day, she'll understand at that moment what she means to me. I can wait until then.